Monday, March 29, 2004

So far... Not so good.

Good News!! One more person in which I love thinks Im a screw up. I can't even park a car correctly. What's wrong with me? I mean, I know how to park a car, I took drivers ed. Maybe I was just being lazy & wreckless. Or maybe I was just in a rush. Or maybe Im just taking the blame (once again) for something I didn't do. (it's because Im weak, and just let people walk all over me instead of sticking up for myself) The reason I don't bother trying to help myself is because it's pointless. No matter what I say, whenever I say it, or to whom ever I say it to......... Im Wrong! And now Im acting like he doesn't want me to get a job. Hmm... Correct me if Im wrong (which I probably am) but I shouldn't get a job in Houston if I live in Dallas. And ever since me and him had the discussion on me needing to get a job (which was about 3 weeks ago), we have been in Houston. We went to Dallas for like 3 days but what was the point in getting a job then if Id have to ask for my first week off? It's not like I haven't done any research on jobs in dallas. I found a bunch of places that I really want to work at. But im in Houston. ***This just in........ I should be at home right now (in dallas that is)*** Im never where Im supposed to be. Im never doing what Im supposed to be doing. Im never talking about what Im supposed to be talking about. Im never eating what Im supposed to eat. Im never sleeping when Im supposed to sleep. Insubordination. That's obviously one word you could use to describe Mallory.

Anyway....... Enough about me being the biggest waste of space.

I had a pretty good time yesterday. It's was my little sister's 18th birthday. My mom, dad, chloe and I all drove up to College Station to visit her. The trip actually went pretty smoothly. I was suprised! My dad used to hate animals, but now..... I don't know if that's entirely true. He took Chloe for a long walk while me and mom went inside H.E.B for balloons. And he actually let her in his car. Weird! I felt like such the outcast while in College Station. (not just because I wasn't sporting maroon A & M attire) But because everyone there had a plan. Everyone there was also younger than I am. But I don't have a plan. I want to have a plan, but things just never seem to work out in my favor. College/campus life is so happy. It's like one big family. Everybody knows eachother, everybody is extremely friendly, and best of all...... everybody is doing something with their life. I felt like I was wearing a big sign over my head that said "20 year old LOSER!"

But enough about me, it was good to see my sister happy. I don't think I will worry about her as much anymore now that Ive seen her dorm room and met her roommate and experienced "aggieland". I think she'll be okay. Im glad we were able to bring Chloe. I know that was the highlight of Molly's birthday. Seeing her dog. I know it would be the highlight of my birthday. Actually, it would be the highlight everyday for me to see my dog. (if I had one) Which brings me to my next reason for being "not so happy" in life........

*A dog. (an american pit bull- blue nose preferably)
Im pretty sure I won't be getting one. EVER. Well as long as Im with Allen. And since I don't want to lose Allen, I guess I just wont have a dog. I just wish he wouldn't joke around about me getting one like he does. He doesn't realize how important a dog would be to me. He doesn't care, probably because he doesn't like dogs as much as I do. But I don't think he should rub it in my face that I'll never get one. It really hurts my feelings. I miss my dog Boy. I miss him alot. I just wish Allen could respect my feelings about it a little more. Oh Well. I still have Chloe "the cuteness", which I get to see every other week or so. I wish I could see her more, but I can't complain. Well.... I could "BLOG" all day long about dogs and everything else but I won't.

Back to sitting at this couple's apartment and listening to them fight, and me feeling uncomfortable, and needing to take a shower, and my boyfriend making me feel like a complete screw up.

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