"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."

Now the blow's been softened,
since the air we breathe's our coffin.
Well now the blow's been softened,
since the ocean is our coffin.
Often times you know our laughter
is your coffin ever after.
And you know the blow's been softened,
since the world is our coffin.
Well now the blow's been softened
since we are our own damn coffins.
Well everybody's talkin' about their short lists.
Everybody's talkin' about death.

Are you dead or are you sleeping?

So Today's been good. My mom is speaking to me again. We went to Wal Mart where I got everything I've been needing for quite some time now.

Then Rios and Chopper came by to visit for an hour. We ended up having to give both of our dogs a bath cuz they were filthy. Fun Fun Fun!!

Oh, prior to their arrival, I received a text message from Daniel saying....

"if i find out that you or your friends are responsabile for what happened to my truck i am calling the cops."

I said HA!! And then asked what happened. He said I should tell him.

I can take a hint.... I decided to share a funny story about the time Chris pissed me off and his tires got slashed. Apparently, the story wasn't appropriate for this current situation.

Okay... I saved this as a draft a few days ago and I can't remember what all happened after that.

I apologize.

"Breakin up is hard to do".

So today I broke up with Daniel for the 100th time. Weird.

I guess he just wanted to make sure I was aware of what I was losing by breakin up with him..

Unfortunately for him, it only made me dislike him more.

Then he comes to my house, uninvited.

For anyone who knows me, they know that this was a bad idea.

Ruined my whole day. Sad because I think he felt as if his visit was worth it, and we got alot said.

Heh.. I didn't say much or answer any of his questions.. I was still trying to figure out what the hell he was thinking coming to my house. And then.. he layed in my bed and tried to "cuddle". It's a good thing my dad didn't come out of his room and witness my misfortune. That would have definitely landed Daniel on my "shit list". I'm not sure what we talked about, my mind was set on when he was planning on leaving. I was probably rude, but then again... When am I not rude?

He continues to text me and send me pictures and ask me if it's really over.. Am I annoyed? Just a bit.

As long as he doesn't try and talk to my sister or the rest of my family, he should be alright.. He'll get over this break up in no time.

Why would anyone want to be with me? The most selfish, critical, non-caring, rude sarcastic bitch on the planet.

I think I did him a favor.

I've never actually broken up with a boyfriend.. I usually just drive them to the brink of insanity and usually ends with a "Fuck You Bitch" or "I Hate You".. I've even been called the devil in the past. I took it as a compliment.

Oh Well... I'm not losing any sleep over this, thats for sure. Although, I feel like I'm in one of those "Molly & Chris" situations that seem to never end.

Hopefully Daniel will find a model girlfriend that is 376 times better than I am and leave me the fuck alone. I should hook him up with Chris. Chris can show him some pointers on how to get the ladies. And it won't be the internet because all Chris is capable of doing online is looking up porn and checking e-mail.

Needless to say... Meeting someone online and then dating them is not something I would recommend.

I will end with a Tupac Shakur lyric........

(clearing throat)

"You ain't never had a friend like me. BELIEVE THAT"!!

Peace!!

T.G.I.F

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensation's overwhelming,
Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing

So when I got home from work today, War Dog was here.

It's always a relief when I see his car in the driveway, because I can be sure he will give me a 4 hour update on what's going on in his life. I lose alot of sleep during the week, if you could imagine.

So tonight, him and his new girlfriend Jasmine, Jenny, Julie, I forgot her name, are finally going to have a night alone together.

Reason Being: She is rich.(?) She is a virgin.(ok) And she is a kindegarten teacher and a model. So they go out to dinner alot but they don't consider it "alone time" because people are constantly surrounding them, wanting to talk to her. And if they're not wanting to talk to her, they are wanting to talk to him. All they want is privacy.

MUST BE NICE.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Neon Vomit!!

Funny.. Daniels friends were making jokes about a buddy of theirs who was sick and throwing up disturbing colors. One of them refered to it as "neon vomit". I really wanted to do the "Neeee-On Voomit" impression but I hadn't done it in a while so I feared it might suck. I also had to remember that not everyone has seen The Disney Channels, "Ready or Not", so my neon vomit routine would probably just fly right over peoples heads or freak them out.

Save the animals.
Save the trees.
Save the earth, for you and me.
Picking up the garbage can be a hassle.
So save the earth. Our Home. Our Castle.

So.... I'm sick. But what's new? I should probably tell my mom, but I hate going to the doctor. That and my sickness is quite frequent. I think it has something to do with me quitting meth.

For the six years that I was using meth, I never got sick. Obvious reasons. Read the ingredients.

But anyway... this problem I have is frustrating. I am very tired and I feel really weak. It makes it hard to go to work and do other things that I like to do. And it's not so easy for me to just tell my mom the truth when I get sick like this... Ever hear the story of the boy who cried wolf? Ha.. Maybe I should discuss this disfunction of mine with my mom, it could be something serious. But the doctor will probably just tell me the same thing.. " Mallory, You are anemic".

I have heard that for the last 10 years of my life. It's not that I dont believe the doctor, but it seems to me there should be some kind of remedy or temporary cure for anemia. Doc has yet to mention anything.

I also have a story about a homosexual that works at the Baybrook Target. Let me just say, the guy is gay. And the guy is mexican. And the guy works at Target. I believe he is good friends with my mom and sis. Apparently he's not too fond of me.

When my mom got to the store, I asked her if she got along with the "gay guy". She said yes and wanted to know WHY? I explained to her the attitude he gave me when I asked for the Vendor Sign In Book. He did not believe that I was actually a vendor and demanded the company in which I work for. I told him American Greetings and I think that made him mad. After a moment of awkward and confused silence, I thought I would throw in that I am Kathy's daughter, Molly's older sister. That was pointless, it sure as hell didn't help my ass. Finally, he gave me directions to the Sign In Book.

A few hours later, as we were headed to the check out lane, we passed Jose or Juan or whatever his name is. My mom hollered for him to come over to where we were standing. She asked him why he wasn't nice to her daughter. And if he remembered me or not. His Response:

"I'M NOT GOING TO KISS ANYBODYS ASS. I DONT EVEN KISS MY BOYFRIENDS ASS!!"

Whoa is what my mom had to be thinking but if you know my mom, she kept her cool and continued to question him. She asked him if he could at least try and be nice to me just while I was in the store helping them out. His Response:

"Yes.............................. NO."

The looks he gave me during that conversation were unreal. It was like he really hates me, and can't be mature enough to walk on the same planet as me, or breathe the same air. Hell is where those were looks were directing me.

My mom said that's the way he is, but I disagree. This guys behavior was no act. It really caught me off guard. I remember this guy to be fairly friendly. But back when I remember him, he had yet to come out of the closet. Luckily for the rest of the world, he's come out, and is not afraid to talk about it.

Surprisingly, I kept my cool throughout the conversation. I eventually walked off and turned my ipod on since I wasn't welcomed by the guy in the red shirt. I will continue to keep my mouth shut and remain "the mature one" on this one, considering this is moms biggest account and her and my sister are in there alot. But I just have one question....

He is gay. That means he is a guy and he likes penis?

hmmm.....

I have a confession to make....

Today at work (almeda target), I was making a trip to the back to throw away my trash when an employee stopped me. Actually... It was more like a dramatic dive in front of me to get my attention. He's one of the many Target employees I have trained. They know better than to talk to me when I have my headphones on. (which is the majority of the time I am there) He got my attention and I took my headphones off to hear what he had to say.. Our conversation went something like this:

African American Target Associate: What were you listening to right before I stopped you?
Me The Greeting Card Chic: Umm... Ruthless by Something Corporate
African American Target Associate: Hmm... It sounded more like Spice Girls to me.
Me The Greeting Card Chic: Neat.. Sorry to dissappoint you, but it wasn't the Spice Girls
African American Target Associate: Oh I see... I see the games you are trying to play. Don't sweat it.
Me The Greeting Card Chic: O.... K, I'll try not to?
African American Target Associate: Why do girls always feel as if they have to lie for me to accept them? I'm not going to judge you by the music you listen to.
Me The Greeting Card Chic: Right.. I really have to get back to work and you have totally lost me.
African American Target Associate: AAIIGGHHT... That's tight, but just keep it real with me for now on. K, Shorty?
Me The Greeting Card Chic: Oh.

Once that was finally over, I put my headphones back on and finished jammin' "If you wanna be my lover".

This really makes we wonder how much of my music other people can hear. I do keep the volume pretty high, but I thought only I could hear what was coming out of the earphones.

Hmmm.... My music must sound really distorted to those around me. How in the hell do you get Spice Girls out of Something Corporate?

Anyway.... I definitely feel more comfortable now that I can be myself around the staff at Target. I think?

Well, before I am allowed to go to Daniels tonight, I must clean the living room and give Chloe a bath.

So Bye Bye for now

System Shut Down....

Well... I came inches away from the end of the world about an hour ago. It wasn't good. It's scary being that close, all electronics stop working. I must warn you.. When you get that close to the end, your cell phone stops working. So you will be unable to say goodbye to anyone or thing you hold dear.

Anyway... My cell phone froze. Weird?

My PDA also froze.. NOT COOL!! How in the hell was I going to play Solitaire? And where was I to store my important meetings, notes, contacts and upcoming appointments? I can't live without my Pocket PeeSea. Fortunately, my dad was not as hysterical as I was, so he was able to think rationally and come to a reasonable conclusion. DUH?? I should have known... All my dad had to do was...

-Release the stylus from it's designated slot.
-Unscrew the end of the stylus off.
-Use the end piece to push in the "super secret hidden reset button that looks like a tiny screw"
-Then screw the end of the stylus back into place.
-Replace stylus.
-Press the on/off button to turn the PDA on.

Man I feel like an idiot.

Today at the skate park this mother and her 2 children asked to join me on the bench. I said that was fine. (only because it's not my bench to deny children from even coming near)

I over heard the mother telling her children to stay away from the other bench because the "punk kids" over there were using horrible language. This made me laugh because the whole freakin' skate park is horrible language. I guess she felt like the far bench with the girl wearing a soulja rag would be a safe haven for her young. Maybe I should have taken off the rag to expose my devilish horns.

So... the mother continued to complain about the frequent innappropriate swear words used throughout the park. Her children did not seem to mind. They even asked her to be quiet because she was embarressing them. Funny..

I really don't know how to make a reasonable assumption as to what age a child could be.. They all look the same. So these children looked about 5 and 6. But their vocabulary was quite impressive for this age, i think. The little boy decided to break the ice between me and him by complimenting my cell phone which sat next to me on the bench.

I said Thanks, but I should have caught on to this kids evil plan to ruin the rest of my day.

Once we established that I had a cool cell phone, we talked about everything I would imagine you are not supposed to talk about with a five year old. From smoking weed... To Kenny Chesney... To wishing death on parental units.... Skating (of course).... Tounge Piercings.... Alcohol.... SlipKnot??.... And other hardcore heavy metal bands..

As if I wasn't already totally weirded out, the mom decided to inform me of the heavy metal band that her son and his friends are in. I tried my hardest to mask my confusion with an "interested look" on my face. This was to let her know I wanted to hear more about this band along with her whole life story. She explained that their band was alot like the band "SlipKnot".. Correct me if I am wrong, but I've always been under the impression that SlipKnot was too much for someone my age to handle. I've seen the shirts.. They're always black with red letters that resemble blood.

Who knows? Maybe they're a christian band. But I'm pretty sure they serve up a fine helping of innappropriate lyrics and swear words.

Once she completely lost me with the whole SlipKnot story, she went on to tell me how if she were me, she would never get married. Okay?? Since I mentioned the word "marriage" to her prior to this statement??.. ya. She told me how she was married and had kids but wishes she wasn't married.

Then the little boy asked her if she didn't like "dad". She responded with an under the breath "Sshh.."

At this point, I was convinced that this family was sent to my bench just to weird me out and make me use my brain on a Sunday afternoon to question this oddity. Why would this lady be trying to hide some deep family secret from me? My unreasonably harsh and critical personality must not be hidden that well.

So.... to make a long story short... This woman was unhappy with her husband, has a shameful past life, lives in Friendswood, is a breathing specialist, forgives only me for doing anything bad such as smoking cigarettes and she also used to do drugs. She also feels as if Daniel is way too old for me. (he's 25 and I'm 22, whoa) And she said that it must suck for me having to live with my parents at age 22. Oh Ya... And she also asked if I had any piercings in "naughty" places..

Weird!! I think I prefer sharing the bench with Daniels Posse over disturbingly twisted mothers.

Also, the little girl (age 6) only said one thing the entire 2 hours and that was to ask if she could use my camera..

What the hell?

I don't like kids. After today, I am a little fearful of them.

Pre Blogging... or something

I've decided to blog first thing today... It probably won't be as interesting but I'm doing it anyway.

I have alot to take care of today in preparation for tomorrow morning.

At 8:30 tomorrow morning I will be meeting with the one of the big AG bosses. I think she's going to just show me the ropes and help me with my "best practices". For anybody who knows me, they're probably thinking... "And? Does it matter so much to you that you have to blog about it?"

YES!! It matters alot to me. It's stressing me the *BEEP* out. I think there is something wrong with me, I am actually worrying about my job. Peep This (<- that was weird)

: Tuesday morning I woke up to my alarm clock at 7:45. Got ready. And was out of the house and headed to work by 9:00am. Half way down the freeway, I realized, "What the hell am I doing? Being responsible? Weird". What next? Get my GED as soon as possible and enroll in college. WHOA!!

Anyway... Bella and I are going to donate food to the League City Animal Shelter. Good Deeds.. Actually, Gladene bought a bunch of bags of dog food that were on clearance at HEB and wanted my mom to donate them to a shelter in need. Seeing as how my mom does not have time to pick her nose, I volunteered to help her out.

The League City Animal Shelter is a very depressing place. If anything bad ever happens to the city of League City, the animal shelter will be the first to be shut down. It's also extremely unsanitary, and they are very short handed. I am actually a registered volunteer for them, but I can't go. Their whole outlook on animal welfare and what not is twisted. I guess I am just used to the HSPCA, where their #1 priority is the animals. They are an organization that care for/treat/adopt out the animals. A local animal shelter does not have the money to treat the animals, let alone even feed them. They try and adopt out the animals, but their sales technique is fucked up. They want the volunteers (while showing prospective adopters the animals) to lie about the animal to get the people to adopt them. We are supposed to tell the customer what they want to hear. Ya.. It's places like this that make this world a horrible place for animals to live in. But I'm still taking them food. The animals still have to eat.

Okay.. Now I am upset.

I really want to color. I get this sometimes. If only I could find my crayons.

Daniel started his new job today. I hope it works out for him.

What should I tell Chloe we are doing when we leave?

Crap.. Maybe I'll tell her we are going to the Dog Wash, Chloe doesn't like baths.